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  • This topic has 1 reply, 1 voice, and was last updated 12 months ago by Marisa.
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  • #35058 Reply

    I need resources, tips, and guidance. I would like to hear from woman who initiated a divorce or separation from a marriage that was “ok”/“fine”, you just felt like you just weren’t in love and wanted the freedom to find more happiness, excitement, attention from other people – both time with girl friends, but also dating.

    My marriage isn’t “bad”. He’s not physically or verbally abusive. We have sex regularly, and while I’ve finally started to enjoy sex, I’m not turned on or really into him. I’m more turned on bu simple compliments, a small touch on the back, a hug and kiss when crossing the room. My husband is anti-affection and can’t meet those needs. (Even after years of therapy, promises and communication). I play the scenarios of him doing those things in my head, like a daydream, and when I snap back into reality I’m resentful that he didn’t/won’t do it. I’d love to spend time with someone enjoying an out-of-the-house activity, and my husband would rather stay in and watch TV. When we do go out, it’s with couples friends and we’re drinking and get along fine. But honestly, our best times getting along are only when we are in a group and drinking – not alone and not sober.

    We have three kids. They are a handful. It causes a lot of stress and while we co-parent nicely, we do it so differently. I’m more hands on, KNOW my kids, and he’s more authoritarian and yells with no patience.

    I get that so much of this is just marriage, but I’ve felt done for so long. We’ve had a few fights and discussions about him moving out, but we always rectify and move on as usual. What if i don’t want to work at fixing it anymore. What if I just want to move on?

    #35061 Reply

    Hi there,

    First, I want to say that I am so sorry you are going through this. As I was reading your message, it felt like I was reading about my life in similar ways a few years ago.

    As far as resources, if you are open to it, I recommend speaking to a lawyer to get information as far as options that you may have. I personally recommend Lindsay Willis at Rosen Law. I believe she offers consultation for a small fee. She was amazing at answering questions I had prior to initiating the separation/divorce.

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