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February 12, 2020 at 9:51 am #39898AnonymousGuest
My company recently hired a new person. He seems like a nice enough guy, however, there are things he asks and behaviors he does that make me uncomfortable. I have my own office. He will ask for information, but stands directly behind me, in my personal space. Sometimes, if I am late because of traffic, my boss and I have a mutual agreement that I make up my time. No big deal. I have had this guy ask me why I am late. (He is NOT my supervisor. If my boss is gone, I am his supervisor.) I am also a busty female. We have no dress code, but I wear t-shirts to work. I have caught him looking at my bust when talking to me.
I am expected to go to two training seminars with him. I really do not want to be in a vehicle with him for any extended period of time, as he does make me uncomfortable. I have not mentioned any of this to my boss, as my boss loves him. I am the only female in the office, so this is difficult for me. I am not sure what to do, as I have many tasks here, HR being one of them. Any advice?February 14, 2020 at 7:58 am #39900FaithGuest
After mannnny decades in business, including 18 years at IBM in a male-dominant division, and having been in situations like this several times, my heart goes out to you with great empathy. I hope reading my reply does not make you feel that I take your situation lightly, but my response is how I would handle the situation. I’m not telling you what to do, as everyone is different.
This type of situation: don’t let it take your personal power away. Recognize it for what it is, and that is his behavior and choices. It’s true about life, isn’t it?
So, I live by my favorite line, “Being a diplomat does not mean being a doormat.”
For me, I would be direct with him about my experiences with him, and is he aware? Bring it to his attention. If he does it again, I’d tell him to knock it off, and this is exactly the behavior I’m talking out. I’d explain that if he can’t manage his behavior, then his actions would give me no choice but to go to his superiors and HR. Again, this is how I would handle it. I’d be firm and professional, exemplifying and modeling the type of behavior I’d expect in return.
I hope my response is helpful in some manner. I look at my life experiences as growth opportunities for me and those involved, whether they wish to see it that way or not. We grow through our relationships, whether it’s personal or professional. In the end, all we can control is ourselves and our response.
You’ve got this, and we’re here to support you! <3